Posted On: 5 Jan, 2012 Others में
Corruption has killed me. I have been killed. I can take breath.But, I am a death body.My emotion has been killed. My psychology has been killed. My self-respect has been killed. I have remained alone but I will kill myself because my everything has been killed.
How much I had to face psychological and cardiological problems due to that objection and oppressions? I was being oppressed. A small boy was being oppressed due to me. So when I was awaking then my mind was in terrible figure. When I was sleeping then my mind was in terrible dream. I was observing terrible dream of my mistaking also because I was being objected for his oppression also, besides that wrong objection of unnatural relationship. But I never seen any sorts of bad dream of unnatural activities because I was not going on that way. I have seen him in dream only for two times since last 9 months. One day, he was weeping and another day, he was reading .I had observed his weeping for approx 50 times due to oppressions. So I observed his weeping in dream.He used to read additional books always. So I observed his reading in dream. Why I haven’t observed any wrong thing in dream? Why I observed terrible figure in dream in place of bad figure?Why it’s so?It’s so because I am not wrong.
I have believed that justice will be not provided so during sleeping now i see dream related to my death.Now my mind thinks about death during sleeping.
My memory power has become so weak due to depression. Even, what I have eaten today, I forget.
There was the lack of practical skill due to depression. No sensitivity remained due to depression. I started to walk without concentrating mind and sometimes automatically. There was the toughness and glittering of mind. I was feeling like as electric current in my mind .My mind was thinking about that all happening during sleeping. This is right that my mind was thinking earlier also about my philosophy during sleeping.But now this was in extensive form.Now my mind starts to think automatically when i go for sleep but remains in half-consciousness position before sleeping and think automatically.This time also one must have the controll to his mind .It was the time when my mind started work to the level of half only and i had forgotten my half knowledge and history.Due to depression,when i slept,i remained slept within 24 hours.When i awaked,i remained awaked within 24 hours.
Depression created cardiological problems. I felt problems in breathing. I was suffering from some practical phobias. My heart beat remained fast for 2-3 times within 24 hours and for 1-2 hours.
Due to less eating since April to Sept, I had to be sufferer of continous body pain along with memory weakness. For 3-4 times, I had to be sufferer of fever of about 101 degree F. Due to problems created by weakness, one day everyone had to be fearful.
I have faced so many problems also.It is right that my heart beat started to be so fast also when he was oppressed in front of me and due to me. I was become depressed. I never took a medicine of one paisa by the School Dispensary, but after going from School on 3 April 2011,I had to take medicines for all these problems.
This time also, I have many problems. My memory power is becoming weak and weak. Sometimes, my mind pains slightly.I am not talking about headache.This time i loss the ability to realise and think properly.Sometimes during sleeping and always during half-sleeping condition,my mind remains in non-consciousness position.This was earlier also but now this is more. I am not talking about the faintness.This non-consciosness position is the consequence of loss of sensation.Nothing can be decided by me during half-sleeping condition of non-consciosness. Sometimes, It feels that I am listening first time about this thing or listening after a long interval of time. But I remains well-known about that.Whatever the dreams are seen by me,it persists real during sleeping and after sleeping also,it persists for certain interval of time.Whetever the reals,sometimes persist dream.Figures created in my mind persist happening in front of me for sometimes.
Rupa Publications replied as:-
Thank you for submitting your proposal to Rupa publications.
We really appreciate getting a chance to consider your proposal , and while
there truly is some great writing here, we are afraid we can’t find a spot
for it on our list.
We wish you every success in your future endeavour.
Why afraid?This is not afraid.This is phobia.
Oxford University Press replied as:-
Dear Mr Kumar,
Thank you for approaching Oxford University Press with your work.
Regretfully, the proposal falls outside the scope of our current
publishing programme. In view of this, we regret we are unable to
consider your work for publication.
We thank you nevertheless for giving us an opportunity to consider it
and wish you success with a suitable publisher.
Oxford University Press
1st Floor, YMCA Library Building
1 Jai Singh Road
New Delhi 110001
Phone: 43600300, 23747124/ 25
Fax: 91 11 23360897
e mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
visit us at oup.co.in
Why my philosophy is bond under the current scope of publishing programme.Because,this is a new philosophy for the sustainability of the future.This is helpful for make our scope current.
Corruption seized my best friend by creating conspiracy and trapping. He was my best person also.Now corruption is seizing my writing.But I have no any problem from the seizing of my writing. I have problem because I have been trapped with my best person, but I myself was oppressed.I can tolerate everthng,every objection but i can’t tolerate this objection.If someone will impose the objection of murder on me and it will be proved falsely,i will tolerate.But i can’t tolerate this.
This time If i will have to commit suicide,i will write against my family member also.Even against Sanjeev also.Because i am depressed on that way where i can claimed that one also who can be right.Because my depression can’t compromise with anyone.Same thing was happening with Sanjeev.But after 3 months,he had forgot everything.So when principal asked about his problems from me,he said that i used to sit him on my bed by touching his hand but he had sitten on my bed.On that time,he had no pressure and fear by principal and no phobia but he had to say because he had said in front of his mother earlier.So on 14 Sept 2011,when principal asked about his problem,he referred to the torturing of those boys.On that time,there was no pressure,fear and phobia related to these matters.There was only pressure and fear related to sleeping.
Principal referred to the written complain of his mother but principal himself was working as lawyer and judge.His mother must be lawyer and principal must be only judge.I have right to protection,so i must be provided opportunity to keep my favour against the objection of sleeping in front of his mother.This right can’t be suppressed by principal.Everything must be proved according to that written complain and his mother must be the lawyer.But principal proved wrongly according to his mind-composed idea,which will be not described on that written complain.
No matter is that Sanjeev said against me due to his problems from me but due to his phobias,depressions and under pressure due to fear.The matter is that if my small behavior can create problems for Sanjeev due to his phobias and depressions and in this way he had to say about these in front of his mother under the pressure and due to fear.Why Sanjeev will not say about the something wrong happening during sleeping because this would create phobias and depressions for Sanjeev because he was psychologically attracted to Harry Potter not to any homosexual or sxual novel. His phobias and depressions would motivate him to say so but he said nothing against sleeping.This can be possible only when there will be nothing during sleeping.Even there was pressure and fear related to sleeping only.
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